I Was Stronger Than I Thought

So, my mom and I move into an apartment by ourselves (or at least I thought it was going to be that way) that the shelter helped us move into after 4 long miserable months living there. Everything was great, my mom was clean and we were happier than ever. We didn’t have much but it was ours and finally I felt like things would be like they should be. I still wasn’t making excellent grades in school much less even catching up to my class from the stress I was put under but things at home were good. At least until one day I came home from school and seen a motorcycle in the parking lot that looked very similar to my mom’s ex girlfriend’s. I brushed it off, took a big gasp of air and held my breath until I opened the door to find my mom and her ex laying on the living room floor talking to each other. I looked at her and the only thing I said was “What is she doing here?”. My mom told me to stop being rude and tell her hey so I did with sarcasm to let her know I still hated her for what she did to us. After a while my mom moved her in…again. Things only got worse from there my mom had fell to the bottom of her addiction again. Keeping me up all hours of the night with her fighting and arguing with her ex girlfriend. She would even wake me up in the middle of the night just to go to a motel with me because she thought people were “out the get her”. One day her ex leaves and my mom stays out all hours of the night and day leaving me in the apartment alone. I freak out and ask the neighbors if I can use their phone to call my mom and there was no answer. So, I call my aunt and she comes to pick me up. I stay with her over the weekend and call my grandma to tell her what’s going on begging her to come pick me up from this hell hole. I always felt safe with my grandma, she was my rock. Even talking to her made me feel safe. So, she told me she would come get me but it would take some time. Sadly, my mom came back that Sunday to pick me up without contacting me all weekend because before I left I left her note telling her where I’d be (not that she worried probably). I told my mom I was leaving to go back with my grandma in Mississippi and she refused to let me go. So we went back into the apartment ugh it was so dirty with flip flops I didn’t know who they belonged to, condoms, red cups and alcohol. My mom’s room was the worse but mine seemed to be untouched. My mom made me clean it and I hated that. Why would she make me clean it? I wasn’t the one who partied and left it a mess and left my daughter worrying if I was dead or alive, but still I did it anyway. We finally got kicked out of our apartment because only God knows what mom was doing with the money. I knew but I just didn’t want to think about it. We moved in with my aunt and everything was fine then until they moved out and mom fell back into her pit of addiction. By then I wasn’t going to school, we didn’t have lights or water, and we were begging the restraunts near by for the scraps before closing. The only thing that kept me going was my grandma’s voice. Luckily we had a phone so my mom would let me talk to her every now and then when she wasn’t too paranoid off the drugs she was doing. Then finally we went back to the shelter. We were back at square one…

Published by southernhospitality23

I am 25 years old and a mother of 2. I'm also married and apart of the LGBT community.

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